A shortened version of The Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary’s definition of empathy: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts and experiences of another. Empathy is being aware of another person’s feelings, experiences and emotions. It is the ability to share someone else’s feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person’s situation. It is a healing feeling that you are not alone.
There are many rules on empathy of which I will state a few. The Golden Rule of Empathy: treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. The Silver Rule is the principle that one should not treat other people in the manner in which one would not wish to be treated by them. The Platinum Rule promotes empathy and understanding as essential elements of effective communication and relationships. It encourages us to actively listen, observe and engage with others to gain insights into their perspectives and preferences. One last rule I would like to convey is the Bronze Rule, very unpleasant but common. Do unto others as they have done unto you. It’s a principle that acknowledges the reality of people’s actions and how they often respond to the behaviour they experience from others. I believe this to be a very narcissistic trait unfortunately applicable to many.
How do I improve my empathy?
1. Practise mindfulness to build awareness.
2. Be curious about other people’s experiences.
3. Listen with your full attention. Be there.
4. Pay attention to non-verbal clues.
5. Question your biases and what you think you know.
6. Ask questions instead of making assumptions.
As usual, I would like to inspire you with some quotes.
“I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it.” Maya Angelou
“Empathy fuels connection, judgment fuels disconnection.” Brené Brown
“Kindness is the language that the Deaf can hear and the Blind can see.” Mark Twain
“A man to be greatly good must imagine intensely and comprehensively; he must put himself in the place of another and many others; the pains and pleasures of his species must become his own.” Shelley
We are unfortunately in a “Me, Myself and I” world. In the past, we tended to relate and empathize in person, so many today are relating through social media. We are supposedly busy and so wrapped up in our lives, we often do not take the time to communicate even if it is just a friendly gesture or greeting. Remember, as you go through your daily lives, try to be gracious with others for you probably have no idea, in many cases, what they are going through and a smile can make their day.